


Code Red Contingency

by Project0506



Series: Soft Wars Silly Sides [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Brothers, Brothers being assholes, Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23697241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project0506/pseuds/Project0506
Summary: Wolffe raised this boy.  He knows Rex has contingencies foreverything.
Series: Soft Wars Silly Sides [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1706599
Comments: 71
Kudos: 495





	Code Red Contingency

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AlabasterInk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlabasterInk/gifts).



> NOW WITH ART!!!!
> 
> Thank you very much [@itstimeforstarwars](https://itstimeforstarwars.tumblr.com/) for the glorious image of [Wolffe with Hamster Ball Plo!](https://itstimeforstarwars.tumblr.com/post/615947195914633216/itstimeforstarwars-image-clone-commander)

Rex at first thinks it’s Kix’s comm. It usually is, if a comm goes off between midnight and o’four. Rex has conditioned himself to ignore it until the noise stops, and to drop back off to sleep quickly after Kix has left to deal with whatever it is.

What he hasn’t conditioned himself to ignore is the look of pure venom Kix levels him from his bunk.

Reluctantly, Rex pries himself awake. It’s his comm. Command channel. No he’s on leave.

“Take it _outside_ ,” Kix snarls. From Kix’s other side, nestled up against the stone wall that frame the Jedi Temple barracks, Jesse groans in agreement. When the hell did he even get in here? Karking Jesse. Karking Kix. Karking Kix and Jesse. Maybe it’s time to stop bunking with Kix on Coruscant rotation.

Except. That means bunking with Hardcase. Hm. No. He sleep talks. Jesse can suck a frosty one.

“I’m going, I’m going,” Rex yawns his way into his boots, skips his shirt and stumbles into the hallway, comm chirping accusingly the whole way. He gets enough steps down the hall to at least nominally claim that he tried for privacy.

“Torrent,” he says and tries to keep the exhaustion out of his voice.

“Vod, I need help.”

Rex pauses, checks the comm address, even though he already recognizes the tone. “Wolffe?”

“And I don’t need Captain Rex,” Wolffe continues. He sounds harried. “I need that karking nerd I raised.”

“Well if you’re gonna ask _politely_ ,” Rex yawns. Now that he’s fairly sure nothing’s on fire, he’s free to appear as tired as he is. “What’s the problem?”

“You still do the nerd planning thing on your off time? Pick a problem literally nobody has ever had and write up petabyte on how to fix it?”

“If I wanted to be insulted I would have stayed in bunk,” Rex complains. “My medic’s better at it than you.” Still, he’s already padding to the tiny office the four officers share on shore rotation. Kix makes all of them leave work holopads in there. Leave is _leave_ , in Kix’s mind.

“Hello?”

Rex hesitates. His steps slow. “Hello?” He calls back to his comm. The new voice wasn’t Wolffe, and further sounded terrifyingly young. “Who is this?”

“Hi! I’m Plo!” Plo. High General Plo Koon. “Are you the karking nerd?” There’s some scrambling on the other side.

“Don’t use that word!” Wolffe lectures, like the hypocrite he is.

“Wolffe. What did you _do_?”

“ _I didn’t do anything_!” Wolffe shrieks. “He went into a temple thing, touched something. It’s mystical Jedi shit.”

“ _Shit!_ ” Someone giggles in the background.

“ _Don’t use that word either!_ ” More scuffling. “Look vod, I karking raised you _Boost take him somewhere else_. I know you’re a karking nerd. Tell me the plan you made for mystical Jedi de-aging.”

Rex frowns because he knows Wolffe can’t see him. He really wishes he could deny it.

He steps in to the office, grabs the stack of Code Reds and pulls the ones specifically for his brothers.

“How old is he?” Rex asks. He corrects himself. “Or how tall is he if you don’t know.” Wolffe tells him. Damn, small enough that his visor and mask will prove problematic. Not too bad though, Rex has plans for that too.

He flips to de-aging, scrolls down to Wolfpack. Flicks past the first entry for a de-aged Wolffe. The second is what he wants. “Get your fab shop, they’re going to need to make a transpariplast ball at least a foot longer in diameter than he is tall. I’m sending you rough designs, your shop can hammer something out. They’ll need to tint it for his eyes, and install an enviro-generator ...”

**Author's Note:**

> Why yes, Rex has in fact included a Kel Dor Environment Hamster Ball in is de-age planning. He's very thorough.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Code Red: Ba'Vodu](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23848315) by [Chess_Blackfyre](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chess_Blackfyre/pseuds/Chess_Blackfyre)




End file.
